17 November 2014

Pretend To Know Anything About Art

As much as an argument is difficult to approach, as it's easy to pretend to be experts about it. Art - meaning with this word all those forms of expression that, in general, may be the subject of an exhibition or a performance traditionally understood - is probably the area of interest more attractive in this sense for all sorts of boasters and braggarts. As with anything that has a cultural dimension, however, be considered an expert in art automatically provides the passport as "intellectual", a category of people to which everybody is instinctively inclined to make your own treats and which is able to exert an undeniable charm - especially on women. That's why many try to fake an in-depth knowledge of the subject, often without really being able to hide their own charlatanism. Yeah but how to pretend to know something about art then?

Allow us to explain ourselves.
The first and most important rule to take into consideration is that of snub everything that is popular. The Impressionists? They stew. The pop art? Please, no more. Cubism? Come on, Picasso was a fraud. To be even more credible, we suggest a little finesse: in spite of your positions are absolutely trenchant in regards to artistic movements universally appreciated, some of these, unexpectedly, are like milestones for you to which is definitely right to pay every time a tribute. Who would have thought that a person with so difficult tastes as your are, would have been so fond of the Italian Renaissance (remember: with Renaissance you always go on the safe side, you will always remember a name and, if it does not, you can always think of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)!? Use, also, very often, the word "vernissage" with which it is customary to indicate the opening of an exhibition. In the past, the application by the artists of the vernissage (a type of varnish used in order to protect the paintings from the elements and wear and tear), was celebrated as the culmination of the completion of a work, with the invitation of friends and potential buyers to the important event. To date, the term is synonymous with worldly appointment where you can scrounge a drink and show off that original hat bought and never worn. Your friends will understand what you were referring to only after have listlessly leafed through a copy of Vogue in the waiting room of their own dentist. Your quotations as expert of art will skyrocket. Finally, talk about you as an expert of contemporary art: anyone you will mention as your favorite artist will probably be unknown to the majority of your interlocutors. The absence of an unanimous critique toward the artists you will carry on as example will allow you to support multiple disparate position without fear of contradiction, in case you would have to face a real expert. If no one around you is a true art expert, then, well, you can even invent some name without fear of contradiction. Mr. Garpez? Oh yes, the sculptor. 

By Alberto Capra 
Artwork by Diego Soprana

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